


Forgiveness

by thatwriterlady



Series: 25 Days of the Holiday Season [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Broken Families, Christmas, Disowned Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, F/M, Family Reunions, Homophobia, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Parenthood, Toddlers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28277253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: Dean is home for the first time since his father disowned him and threw him out for bringing home his boyfriend for Christmas. There's healing and forgiveness in order, and acceptance. This is hopefully the start of a new chapter in his family's lives; one where his husband and children are accepted and loved.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: 25 Days of the Holiday Season [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037259
Comments: 12
Kudos: 108





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> If my daughter would stop talking to me I'd be able to come up with a decent summary, but she won't stop, lol. So, you get what you get, he he he...

**Dec 17th:**

**_Forgiveness~_ **

Dean dropped his bags on the floor of his childhood bedroom and looked around. This was his first time back home in twelve years and he’d forgotten all of the things he’d left behind. There were shelves full of childhood trophies, pictures of his high school baseball team, Star Wars action figures, still in their original packaging. He figured those had to be worth something by now. There were also a lot of posters on the wall. He’d plum forgotten that he’d put up ones for Cloverfield and The Ruins. That brought back memories of trips to the movies with his best friend, Charlie. She’d escaped too and had made a life for herself out on the east coast. It was better suited to her bubbly personality than Lawrence Kansas was.

Behind him he heard tiny feet as they slowly climbed the stairs. A few seconds later his daughter Emma came zooming into the room. 

“Daddy I hafta pee!” She announced. Cas, Dean’s husband came walking in with the rest of their bags and dumped them on the floor with the rest. Their son, Jack was asleep in the wrap around his chest.

“She insisted on climbing the stairs herself. I just hoped you’d have the door open so she’d know which room to go to.” He sounded out of breath. Dean scooped Emma up and kissed his husband on the cheek. He brushed a hand lightly over Jack’s bald head before kissing it.

“Why don’t you rest? I’ll get the playpens from the trunk after I take her to use the bathroom.”

“Playpens are downstairs by the front door, your mom helped get them inside. Take her to pee and bring her back to me. I’ll watch her while you grab them,” Cas said. He nodded and headed down the hall with Emma on his hip.

After she had used the bathroom she was passed off to her other father and Dean went downstairs to get the playpens. His mother popped her head out of the kitchen and smiled.

“You happy to be home?”

“So far, so good,” Dean laughed. “Guess we’ll see when Dad gets home though.”

“He’s changed,” Mary’s smile sobered and she walked over to her son. “He really has. He’s had so many regrets all these years and he hates that he lost so much time with you. I’m so glad you came home, sweetheart. He can’t wait to meet the babies.”

Dean wrapped her up in a hug. His father had kicked him out when he’d come out, and he hadn’t spoken to the man since then. That had been two years into college. He’d met a wonderful guy and he wanted to bring him home to meet his parents, but he was scared. He’d known his father was homophobic, and it was a risk to come out to him. His mother, she’d accepted it immediately and had welcomed his boyfriend with open arms. His dad had not. Mary had been unable to stop her husband from kicking them out, and for a long time Dean held a lot of resentment towards her for not backing him up and standing up to his father. He’d come to understand though that their love was deep, and while she was furious at her husband for disowning their son, she refused to do it too. He also knew that she’d been working ever since to repair the relationship between them.

His relationship with his mother and his brother was strong though. She’d come to see him graduate college, and after he’d graduated medical school, she’d come then too. When he married that boyfriend he’d brought home, Cas, she had come to the wedding. She’d been there for Emma’s birth and despite his anger and disappointment early on, he’d never once doubted her love. Even now, as she hugged him back tight, her love for him radiated out and filled him with warmth. She’d asked him to come home this year, told him his father was sorry and wanted to be a part of his life and the lives of his children, and he’d dared to hope it was true.

He’d talked at length with Cas about coming back here. John had been horribly cruel to Cas that Christmas, and the slurs he’d flung at them both had brought them to tears. Cas had been the one to hold him as his heart broke, and he had no love for John Winchester. He hated the man for what he’d done to Dean, for almost destroying him, but he’d wanted to give the man one more chance. If he really wanted to make the effort, and he wanted to be a part of their lives, then he wanted Dean to come home. Dean loved him even more for being so understanding and supportive. All those years ago he’d known Cas was the one he wanted to spend his life with, and all he’d wanted to do was show his parents how much he loved this man, and for Cas to be accepted. That had been impossible when his own father couldn’t even accept _him_. He’d felt foolish, stupid for thinking his father might be able to put his phobias aside and realize how wrong he was for thinking that way, and that his love for his son should trump it all. 

Coming home was terrifying. He’d almost not wanted to bring their things inside, in case John came home from work and had decided he didn’t want them there after all, but Cas had coaxed him into taking their bags inside. He couldn’t help but be nervous. His innocent children were here. Sure, Jack was barely three weeks old and a fight wouldn’t phase him, but Emma was four. She was alert to peoples’ moods and he didn’t want her to bear witness to slurs and insults lobbied at her parents. She was an innocent little girl and she didn’t deserve that. For his childrens’ sake he hoped his father could be civil.

“I really hope that’s true, Mom. If it’s not, we’re packing the kids up and leaving. This will be the last time I ever come back.”

“I know, honey, and I fully support any decision you make, but...give him a chance to apologize, ok? And remember he’s not so good with his words. He’ll stumble over himself and he might not look you in the eye, but he’s done nothing but talk about you. I’ve been after him to try and repair his relationship with you but he’s a stubborn bastard and can’t admit when he’s in the wrong. I know it hurts him all of the things he’s missed. He loves you, baby, he never stopped loving you.”

Dean sighed and squeezed her a little tighter. Upstairs he heard thumps that told him Emma was probably bouncing around the room.

“I’m going to get these set up. We’ll be down in a bit, ok?”

“Ok,” When he let her go she kissed his cheek before stepping back. “I have some interesting news for you when you come back down, but we’ll discuss that once you come back.”

He grabbed the playpens and hauled them upstairs. Emma was digging through a bag of toys they’d brought for her and Jack was asleep in the middle of the bed. Cas was busy sorting through another bag, pulling out bottles and formula and foods for Emma that needed to be refrigerated. 

“Is your dad home yet?” Cas looked up at him and though the tone of his voice was even Dean knew he was nervous. He knew this man as well as he knew himself. Eighteen years together, married for twelve, there was no one he knew more thoroughly. Cas was scared of John Winchester, but it wasn’t for himself, it was for Dean. He didn’t want to see his husband destroyed for a second time.

“No, not yet,” Dean checked his watch. “Shop closes in an hour. He’ll be home about a half hour after that.” 

Cas abandoned what he was doing and walked over to him. He pulled him into a hug, tenderly kissing his cheek as Dean clung to him. He knew how badly his husband needed the comfort.

“She says he’s changed. Do you really think he’s changed that much?” He worried.

“I think it would probably be a good idea to go downstairs and talk to him on your own when he gets home. If things go well then you can let me know and I’ll bring the kids down. We don’t want Emma traumatized by this.”

“That’s what I was thinking too. I don’t want you subjected to his possible anger again either.” Dean ran his fingers through his husband’s hair and kissed him softly. Cas smiled as he stood back.

“I need to get Emma’s snacks and yogurts into the fridge.”

“Ok. Let’s bring the kids downstairs, I know my mom is dying to steal Jack.”

They made their way back to the first floor, Emma insisting on leading the way. Mary was waiting and scooped the little girl up when she ran to her.

“Hey, sweetie, are you being good for your daddies?”

“Uh huh,” Emma nodded. “Daddy said I can have some juice.”

When Mary looked up at Dean he held a bottle of juice up.

“She gets this, two thirds juice, one third water, in case she asks when we’re not right there to give it to her.”

“Sure,” Mary nodded and smiled at her granddaughter again. She leaned down to whisper in the little girl’s ear. Emma gasped and then twisted around to look at her fathers.

“Can I have a cookie?”

“Mom,” Dean groaned. Cas chuckled behind him.

“She ate her lunch. You denied her ice cream in the car. It’s four, a cookie will wear off between now and bedtime.”

“Fine, but only one,” Dean bopped his daughter on the nose. “Don’t ask for more. Juice and one cookie, that’s it.”

“Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Papa.”  
  


Mary carried her into the kitchen and set her on one of the chairs at the table. Dean went about filling a sippy cup while Cas put the perishables in the fridge. Jack was strapped to his chest again though now he was awake. He was looking up at his father with wide, blue, eyes, his little tongue poking out every now and then. 

“What is that? That wrap thing, it’s safe? He’s comfortable in it?” Mary asked as she took a cookie out.

“It’s very safe. As a mother I’m sure you know babies like the safety of being wrapped up tight. Jack loves this. If he gets fussy I’ll put him in here and he’ll calm right down. He rarely gets fussy though, he’s the perfect baby.” Cas said. He smiled at his son and ran a hand lightly over his head. There was some blonde peach fuzz there now that hadn’t been there when he was born. The nurse filling out his birth certificate had guessed what the color might be and they’d agreed with her. The birth mother was blonde, so they’d gone with that.

“Dean liked that, he was the sweetest baby, very calm and quiet but Sam was a wild child, right from birth. He hated being wrapped up. Used to kick me something fierce when I was carrying him,” Mary waited for Dean to take over with Emma so she could go see Jack. She looked down at the baby and her heart swelled with love for him. “Oh, he’s so beautiful. He looks so much like you, Cas.”

“Do you want to hold him?” Cas asked. She smiled and nodded. He eased the baby out of the wrap and passed him to her.

“Oh, sweet boy, hi, it’s Grandma,” She cradled him close and kissed his forehead. He looked up at her, watching her quietly as he tried to focus on her face. “I knew I’d get a grandbaby with blue eyes. They’d have changed by now if they were going to be any other color. It looks like he’s going to be a blonde too. That might darken though, it waits to be seen.”

“Believe it or not, I was blonde as a baby. He might end up with this,” Cas laughed and ran his fingers through his own dark hair. Mary snickered and nodded.

“He might.” She agreed.

They sat and talked after Dean got some of Emma’s toys for her to play with and at five Cas took the baby back and with a bottle in hand he ushered Emma back up to the bedroom. Dean accepted the glass of whiskey his mother offered him, knowing he needed it to steady his nerves.

“How have you been, sweetheart?” Mary asked as she joined him at the table. She lightly brushed the back of her hand across his cheek and smiled at him. “The last time we talked you were swamped with work, like twenty-seven surgeries you were doing, or something crazy like that. How on earth do you handle that? Weren’t your nerves frazzled?”

“I’m used to it, but most of these were not major so I was in and out of them in under an hour. I did _a lot_ of gallbladder and appendix removals. I covered for a couple other doctors so they could have their Christmas early, and so Ted could enjoy the last day of Hanukkah with his family. It was in turn so that we had a week to come out here. They’ll be taking over my schedule.”

“How’s Cas doing? Work isn’t stressing him out?” She asked.

“He took a month off when Emma was born, and he’s doing that again with Jack. He’s a partner in his own clinic now so he can take the time off.”

“I was going to come out for Jack’s birth but I understand why you said to wait. I’m so glad you’re here. I want to spoil you boys and my grandbabies.” 

He chuckled and finished off the last of his whiskey. His nerves were still frazzled but slightly less so. More alcohol was not the answer though, so after getting up to rinse his glass he grabbed two glasses of the sweet tea in the fridge and returned to the table.

“I warned Cas you’d steal them and spoil them,” He chuckled as he handed her one of the glasses and sat down. “His mother’s like that too. When Emma was born we had to practically pry the baby out of her arms. Nana Rachel babysits for us when we’re working and while Cas is home with Jack she’s helping out with getting Emma back and forth from preschool. Emma’s a grandma’s girl, has Rachel wrapped around her little finger.”

Mary’s smile was sad. Because of her husband she didn’t have the same kind of close bond with her grandchildren. “I have some good news...and some not so good news.”

“Let’s start with the good news,” He took a sip of his tea and waited. He had his suspicions about the bad news and he wasn’t ready for it. “What’s going on?”

“Well,” She smiled and he could see the excitement sparkling in her eyes. “Guess who’s in town?”

“I don’t know, Santa?” He joked. She swatted his knee and laughed.

“Of course he’ll be in town, but that’s not what I mean. Charlie’s here! She and her wife are here with the kids. She wanted to wait until you were actually here before she would let me tell you. She’ll be here tomorrow afternoon. Sam’s coming too. I’ve told him and Eileen to make sure the kids don’t throw themselves around and accidentally hit the baby. That’s Riley’s new thing, he just flings himself from one piece of furniture to the next. Drives me nuts, and it drives his mother nuts too. She’s forever grabbing him and stopping him. He seems to think he’s a superhero, just like his father did at that age.”

“Don’t let him up on the roof,” Dean joked. When Sam was five he’d thought he had Superman’s powers and could fly, so he’d taken a leap off the roof over the back porch. Thankfully he’d only broken his arm. It had still nearly given their mother a heart attack. He could see why his mom and Eileen were both stressed out. Riley was five at the moment and _very_ much like his father.

“Trust me, we’re not,” Mary said dryly. “And he’s not learning that story about his father until he’s _much_ older.”

“I don’t want my kids hearing it either, not til they’re in their teens. Emma reminds me a little of how Sam was at that age.” He laughed.

“She does, doesn’t she,” She mused. “But she’s your clone in looks. They’re both such beautiful children.”

“Thanks,” He took another sip of his tea and tried to steady himself for whatever bad news she was going to throw at him. “As happy as I am to get to see Charlie and Gilda, what is your bad news?”

Mary’s smile faded away and she sighed heavily. “Your father...doesn’t live here anymore.”

He froze, staring at her and waiting for the punchline. It never came. “What do you mean he doesn’t live here anymore?” He looked around, noticing the touches his father had once left on this space were gone. Pictures of his parents that should have been on the fridge had been replaced by ones of the grandchildren. The fishing lure magnets were gone, and so were the metal containers John had kept on top of the fridge for as long as Dean could remember. He’d kept whatever screws and other bits he’d acquired over the years in them. He thought about the living room and realized his father’s recliner was gone too. This wasn’t a temporary separation.

“Are you getting a divorce?” 

“We haven’t decided yet. He doesn’t want one,” She strummed her fingers on the table and stared into her glass of tea. “I think I do though. I should have left him when he kicked you out. I should have just kicked him right out the door and filed then, but he made threats, said he’d take Sam from me. Your brother was still a minor at that time, only seventeen, and I didn’t want you boys to know what was going on here. We talked, worked through some issues but I told him he needed to get his head out of his ass and get over his misconceptions about homosexuality. He’d had this stupid believe that if you were having sex with another man, then you’d become weak, a sissy, as he put it, and that you’d never be strong enough to take care of yourself. Of course I told him that was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard of. 

“I think part of it was that you decided to go into medicine instead of joining him at the shop. He was angry, said he’d raised you to be a man, and that you should have wanted to be a mechanic like him. I told him medicine was ten times harder, that you had to have the brains and an incredible amount of strength to be a doctor. He finally came around, realized how much hard work went into being a doctor. The shop...it’s not doing as well. I think he’s going to have to shut it down. There are two auto repair chains that opened shops in town, plus several other stores are offering full service auto repairs in the area. He’s been struggling, can’t afford more than one employee now, and even that’s proving to be difficult. He realized that bringing you into the business, if he’d gotten his way, would have proven to be a very difficult life for you. You’d struggle, and if you’d started a family, you’d be pulling them down with you.”

“Did you separate because of me?” He felt the weight of guilt fall over him like a heavy, suffocating blanket. “It’s my fault?”

“No, honey, it’s not,” She took his hands and held them firmly in her own. “Your father cheated. _That’s_ why I kicked him out. I only just found out that he got another woman pregnant when his son came looking for him. A one time indiscretion I might have been able to forgive but he’d been seeing Kate on and off for more than a year. He’d known she was pregnant when he abandoned her and Adam. That’s your brother’s name. Adam is eighteen. His mother couldn’t stop him from seeking out his father, but he didn’t care that your father was married to me. He didn’t care that he was hurting me. I don’t blame him though, he’s a child, he just wanted to know why his mother and him weren’t enough. Adam went home, but he is interested in knowing his older brothers. He knew from his mother that you and Sam existed, but Kate hadn’t realized your father and I have been married all this time, and that we were never separated and thinking of divorce when he met her. That’s what he’d told her.”

“He fucking _cheated_ on you?! He cheated, got another woman pregnant and has another fucking _kid_?!” He hadn’t realized he’d raised his voice and was practically yelling until Cas was at his side and had a hand on his shoulder.

“What happened? Did I really hear that right? John cheated?”

“Yeah, he fucking cheated!” Dean growled out. His eyes stung with unshed tears as he looked up at his husband. Normally Cas would remind him about his language but he was too in shock. He looked at Mary with concern. 

“Are you ok?”

“I’ve been better,” Mary tried not to sound bitter, if only for her son’s sake. “John doesn’t live here anymore. When he comes over, it’s to visit you boys. I wasn’t intending to tell you right away about his indiscretions, but Dean was blaming himself and I know my son, just hearing it’s not his fault isn’t enough to make him believe it. This happened twenty years ago, it’s not recent. We’ve had our fight, he’s moved out, and we’re deciding on the next step. I know he loves me, and he wants to work through things but I’m not sure things can be fixed.”

“Nineteen,” Dean was thinking. “Jesus, that means he knocked her up twenty years ago. That’s when I brought Cas home! So he did what, went somewhere, decided sex with someone else was a good way to get back at me?”

“Honey, he didn’t do it because of you. This was his own insecurities about his masculinity. It has zero to do with you and everything to do with him. But Mary is right, it was twenty years ago and you can’t take back your younger brother’s conception. It’s not his fault, so don’t blame him. It sounds like it wasn’t the other woman’s fault either, is that right?” Cas looked to her. She nodded quietly. Her pain was not as well hidden as she thought.

“Jesus,” Dean sniffled and wiped at his eyes with the hand he hadn’t covered his husband’s with. “I’m just supposed to smile and say “hi dad, long time no see?” and not think about how he cheated on you? I can’t _do_ that!”

“Dean, he regrets what he did. He didn’t blame me, he blamed himself. He knows what he did was wrong, and that he did it out of anger at me, and at himself.” Mary told him.

“Anger at you for what? For not abandoning me?” Dean was crying hard, and his pain was nearly palpable. Cas’ eyes filled with tears and he hugged him tight.

“Daddy? Why are you crying?” Emma had snuck downstairs after hearing all the yelling and the alarm on her face was enough to snuff out Dean’s anger. He picked her up and buried his face against her neck, inhaling the scent of her strawberry shampoo and the fresh linen fabric softener from her shirt. 

“I got some bad news, pumpkin.” He didn’t want to have to explain this all to a four year old.

“What bad news?” She looked up at Cas, her little brows drawn together and a frown on her lips. “Papa, are you ok?”

“Yes, angel, Daddy and I are ok. We’re just a little sad about something that happened, but it’s going to be alright. How about you give Daddy a big hug, he needs one right now.”

Emma wrapped her tiny arms around her father’s neck and kissed his cheek.

“It’s going to be ok, Daddy, I love you. Papa loves you too, right Papa?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I love Daddy very much.” Cas kissed the top of both of their heads before hugging Mary. 

“Dean, for my sake, just...give him a chance. Don’t think about what he did, that can’t be changed. If you don’t want to forgive him, that’s your decision, but what happened between your father and me, that’s between us.” Mary pleaded. 

“Where’s the baby? The playpen?” Dean asked.

“Yes. I fed him and he’s napping,” Cas replied. The doorbell rang and everyone froze. Cas was the first to react. He took Emma and started for the stairs. “We’ll come down when you call for us.”

Mary stood up, dropped a kiss to the top of Dean’s head and went to answer the door. It felt weird hearing his father ring the doorbell, and he stood up to go poke his head into the hall.

John Winchester had changed. He was no longer the tall, broad shouldered, fierce man Dean had been in awe of growing up. Sure he’d seen pictures his mother had sent but she’d not sent many over the years. He hadn’t gotten any pictures of his father in at least five years. Growing up he’d admired his father’s thick, dark beard and bragged that when he grew up he’d have one just like his dad’s. Except with his light brown hair by the time he tried to actually grow a beard he’d expected it to match his hair. To his shock it had come in _red_. He’d shaved immediately. Cas was lucky. When he grew a beard it came in thick and nearly black, just like the hair on his head. Lucky bastard.

Now, looking at his father he was more than a little shocked. John Winchester’s hair and beard were almost snow white. His shoulders were hunched and he looked twenty years older than what he actually was. He seemed to shuffle as he walked into the house and to Dean’s surprise he had the most loving smile on his face as he looked at Mary. Growing up he didn’t think he’d ever seen the man look at her like that. 

As John moved aside so Mary could close the door he looked up. When his eyes landed on Dean he stared for a moment before slowly moving in his direction. Dean’s stomach felt like it was twisting as he stepped into the hall. 

“Dean,” John’s smile was tight as he nodded at him. Dean forced a smile onto his face and nodded back.

“Dad.”

“Why don’t we go sit in the kitchen?” Mary suggested. “I’ll get you a glass of tea, John.”

“Alright,” John shuffled after her into the kitchen and Dean trailed after them.

“So, uh, Mom told me you moved out.” Dean said as he retook his seat from earlier. John looked at Mary as she set a glass down in front of him.

“I, uh, yeah, I did.” His smile was weak when he looked at Dean next.

“Where are you staying?” Dean asked.

“I have an apartment on Churchill, it’s within walking distance of the shop.”

There was an awkward silence until a heavy thump on the second floor drew their attention. A smile came across John’s face again.

“That one of your little ones or Sam’s?”

“Sam’s not here yet,” Dean replied. “That’s my daughter, Emma.”

“Your ma told me you have a new one, a little boy, right? Emma’s four?”

“Yeah, he’s three weeks old. His name’s Jack.” Dean looked at the ceiling and smiled when he heard his daughter giggling.

“Is your husband here?” John asked. He didn’t even stutter on the word husband to Dean’s surprise. “I’m sure he is, you wouldn’t leave the babies alone.”

“Uh, yeah, he’s up there with them,” Dean nodded. 

“I need to apologize to you, Dean,” John’s hand tightened on his glass as he leaned towards his son. “I was wrong, and I’m not saying this because your mother made me. I’m saying this because I’m genuinely sorry. I was the worst kind of father, and I’ve hated myself for the things I said and did. You didn’t deserve that, not a single bit of it. I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Your mother and me, our generation had a lot of wrong ideas about a lot of things. Some of us are wiser than others,” He nodded at Mary. “But some of us think we know better when in fact, we don’t know squat. 

“I’ve never been a religious man, so my stupidity had nothing to do with the crap in the bible. I never believed anything written in there anyway. I had preconceived notions that when I did some self reflection, I realized were no one’s thoughts and opinions but my own. I hung around with some idiots that yeah, they put some thoughts in my head, especially the guys I hung around with growing up. When the AIDS epidemic hit,” He shook his head and sighed. “They painted it as a gay disease. Where I grew up, to be gay was bad. You were weak, you were wrong, and...it took me way too long to realize how wrong that way of thinking is. I never shoulda done what I did, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’m not even asking for it, I just want you to know that I’m truly sorry. I would like to get to know you again, and...to know your husband, and the kids. I only know the bits Mary has told me, and for a long time she wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“It’s ok,” Dean took a sip of his tea and tried not to think about why his mother had kicked his father out of the house. He wanted to focus on this apology. This was a new chapter in their lives and Cas wouldn’t want him getting angry at the man and ruin what had the potential to be a good reunion. He pulled his phone out and sent a text up to his husband telling him it was safe to come down. “I appreciate your apology. He wasn’t sure what more he should say, Cas was the psychiatrist, not him. 

Footsteps coming down the stairs pulled their attention and a second later Emma came running in. She stopped short when she saw John. Immediately she went to her father. Dean scooped her up and sat her in his lap. 

“That’s your grandpa, Em. Dad, this is Emma Elizabeth Winchester.”

Emma leaned her head against her father’s chest and watched John shyly.

“Hi, Emma,” John’s smile was warm and his attitude now was kind of making his head spin. Cas slipped quietly into the kitchen. Jack’s face was smooshed against his father’s shoulder where it rested and his tiny mouth was slightly open as he slept. Cas moved over to the seat on the other side of Dean and sat down. He looked at his husband before facing John.

“Hello, John.”

“Hello, Cas. Wow, your little guy is _little_. I don’t think either of our boys were that little,” John laughed lightly.

“Sam earned the nickname sasquatch,” Dean joked. Cas smiled while Mary and John both laughed.

“He sure did. He was a very long baby. Ten pounds, right, Mar?” John looked to her to see if he was remembering right. She nodded.

“Ten pounds, eleven ounces. Dean was a whopping seven even.” Mary smiled fondly.

“Em was six pounds four ounces and Jack was six pounds two ounces,” Dean said. 

“Jack,” John smiled. “I like that. Is that his full name or is it short for something like Jackson?”

“No, it’s just Jack,” Cas replied. “Jack David.”

“I like that, it’s a good name,” John turned his attention to Emma again. “I brought some presents for you, sweetie. I heard your birthday was last month and you just turned four. I asked your grandma if you liked dolls and she said you do.”

Emma gasped and sat up straight. “I love dolls! Is she pretty?”

“She’s very pretty. I’ll go get the bags from the car, I’ll be right back.” John stood up and left. Everyone was quiet until he was gone.

“He’s definitely very different. It’s like he’s a completely different person. Did he get any therapeutic help?” Cas asked.

“Yes, actually. We’ve done some couples therapy but he’s done it on his own for several years now. He decided to go when I told him you were expecting your first. I suggested it, told him you wouldn’t want him in yours or your childrens’ lives if he was still holding on to all of that anger and hatred. Just wanting to be in his grandchildrens’ lives wasn’t enough, and that if he couldn’t accept their fathers, he shouldn’t bother. He made the appointment all on his own and started going. Honestly, I think it’s the best thing he could have done.” Mary said.

“I agree.” Cas snagged his husband’s glass of tea and took a sip.

When John returned he had a pink, sparkly, gift bag, and a smaller blue one. He set the blue one down in front of Cas and after taking his seat again he held the pink one out to Emma. She looked up at her father before taking it.

“Can I, Daddy?”

Dean smiled and nodded. She grabbed the bag and looked inside.

“Look, Daddy!” She whipped a dress out so fast she almost cracked her father in the face. He barely dodged her tiny fist.

“I see. Look, it has a tutu at the bottom full of sparkles,” He pointed to the design while she talked excitedly about the kittens on the front who wore tutus and crowns. It was pretty cute. He caught it before she could drop it and set it on the table while she dug into the bag again. She came up with sparkly hair clips and leggings to go with the dress. When she got to the doll she squealed excitedly, making her brother twitch in his sleep. Cas rubbed the baby’s back soothingly.

“Papa! Look! It’s a princess!” She waved the doll in his direction. He smiled and nodded.

“She’s pretty.”

“I thought a soft doll she can sleep with might be better than a hard one you might step on and hurt your feet. Riley is forever leaving his dinosaurs lying around. Those hurt when you step on them,” John chuckled.

“Good to know, I’ll keep my slippers on when Sam’s kids are here,” Dean laughed. 

“So will I,” Cas added.

“I wanna sleep with her, can I sleep with her?” Emma asked.

“Of course, princess,” Dean smoothed her hair back so it was off her shoulders.

“When is Sam coming in?” Cas inquired.

“He should be in tonight. They decided to fly in, God help them.” Mary laughed.

“Oh boy,” Dean chuckled. “Does Riley have ADHD? I get the feeling he does. He can never sit still or focus on anything for longer than ten seconds.”

“I think he does,” Mary nodded. “But you’ll have to ask them for sure.”

“So, uh, are you going to be here on Christmas day?” Dean asked his father.

“That is the plan, yes. I’ll be bringing a turkey. Your ma is making a brisket. She said Charlie and Gilda are coming and they’re bringing their three kids. I understand she’s vegan and her wife is pescatarian. I had to ask what that was, just to make sure, but it’s what I thought. So I’m bringing a full salmon too.” John said.

“I’m looking forward to their arrival. Do you know where they’ll be staying?” Cas asked.

“They’re renting a hotel,” Mary replied. “If there was a fourth bedroom, I’d put them up here, but John never got around to finishing the remodeling of the basement so I couldn’t put them down there either. Charlie said it’s fine though, they’re staying at the Hilton.”

“When they get here I’d like to go out to dinner with them,” Cas touched his husband’s arm. Dean nodded.

“That would be nice, we haven’t seen them in a while.”

John played with Emma for a bit while her parents watched. Cas could tell Dean was just waiting for something to go wrong and his father to change but the man playing with their daughter was changed. He wasn’t the short tempered, macho, asshole that had rained down some of the worst insults either of them had ever heard in their lives when they were barely twenty. This John was patient, gentle, and it was clear he was being sincere. Once Emma ran off to play with her doll and watch a cartoon Mary put on for her, John turned his attention to Cas.

“Can...I hold him?”

Cas glanced at his husband who hesitated a second before nodding.

“Alright.” He carefully moved Jack down so he could cradle him and then came around the table to pass the baby to his father in law.

“Oh, he’s tiny,” John cooed to the baby and gently ran his finger down Jack’s cheek. Looks like he’s going to be a blondie. Emma’s hair is more of a strawberry blonde but the pictures I saw of her as a baby, she already had that coming in. Did you use the same surrogate for them both?”

“We did,” Cas replied. John looked up at his son and smirked.

“I saw a picture of you with a beard. I think I know where Emma gets her hair.”

“Shut up,” Dean laughed.

“He’s beautiful,” John turned his attention to the baby once more. Dean and Cas both could see the tears in his eyes though. “I missed so much. I’m so sorry, I should have been there for you.”

The last of the resentment and fear in Dean’s heart finally melted away. He took his husband’s hand and squeezed gently.

“Will you be staying for dinner?” Cas asked. “I promised Mary I’d help make Tuscan chicken and spaghetti with homemade meatballs. That’s mostly because that’s Emma’s favorite food. We might only get her to nibble at the chicken but she’ll inhale the meatballs.”

“We have to compromise and find ways to get protein into her. Her smoothies and other pouches get plenty of fruits and vegetables into her so we’re not _too_ worried.” Dean explained.

“Sure, if it’s ok with your ma,” John looked back at Mary who smiled and nodded. When he looked at his son and son in law again his expression was curious. “Is Emma a picky eater?”

“Not at all, but certain seasonings and marinades she doesn’t like. She’s not a fan of the flavor of Tuscan chicken, but she loves chicken kiev and cordon bleu,” Cas replied.

“That’s good,” John stroked a hand gently over the baby’s head. Jack suckled quietly in his sleep. “Sam was a monster. Dean ate anything put in front of him, even his vegetables, but not Sam. Everything for him was chicken nuggets and french fries, yogurt, cereal, or hot dogs. Couldn’t get a vegetable into him if we tried, and trust me, we tried. Mary started making smoothies for him for breakfast and she’d sneak in all kinds of vegetables. As long as the smoothie wasn’t green, he’d eat it, so if she added spinach or kale, she made sure there were blueberries and raspberries to make it purple.”

“That’s hilarious since he won’t touch a hot dog or a chicken nugget now with a ten foot pole,” Cas laughed. “But boy does he love his vegetables!”

“I know, I stocked up on his favorites,” Mary said. “There will be salad with dinner tonight.”

They continued talking, catching up on all the years John had missed, and when Sam arrived with his family they found everyone relaxed in the kitchen, chatting away. Eileen snatched the baby and got the privilege of feeding him and changing his diaper so everyone else could talk. After John left for the night they told Sam why he wasn’t living there anymore. He wasn’t as surprised as Dean had been, but he was definitely angrier. They talked way into the night with Mary, until Sam got his emotions under control, for the sake of his brother, his parents, and the children. This was a chance for Emma and Jack to know their other grandfather.

Christmas was slightly awkward, but only because they had to wait for John to get there. After that, everything went smoothly. Dean was impressed by his father’s desperate need to be close to his mother, and he could see how much she missed him. By the end of the night they were holding hands and talking quietly. Dean found himself hoping she could forgive him, and that their marriage wouldn’t dissolve. This was the first Christmas he’d had with his whole family in two decades, and as far as he was concerned, it was perfect. Even with Riley jumping across the furniture.


End file.
